A chaotic, brutally honest one-woman show about turning 30 before you’re ready, navigating modern dating, and trying to tick your way to happiness with a doomed to-do list. From smear tests and vibrators to disastrous run-ins with exes and painfully cringe first dates, she throws herself into “self-improvement” with the unearned confidence of a woman spiralling beautifully.

But running through it all is one stubborn basil plant: half-dead, slightly judgemental, and impossible to throw away. As the list starts to unravel, the comedy gives way to something deeper—a story about grief, friendship, and the unexpected things we cling to when life won’t go to plan. Funny, filthy, and quietly devastating, if all goes to plan...